Hey Ambrosine

So it starts with a hey. "How have you been?" How have I been? And in these words is a call to disaster, a query with the assumption of some fantastic answer where a king is king and the kingdom he sits throne to is in peace and golden prospers, where no dragons spit fire, burning land. But 'tis a question asked in a time of ashes. How have I been?

Dear, this a truth that I do not parade, for what parade drags yards of uninflated cartoon balloons, withered roses, shattered stiltmen, kung fu dubbed-like lip sync singsongs and epileptic dance numbers? But you ask for this parade, darling, and there ain't no Santa at the end of this one; somewhere he got stuck in a notoriously unswept chimney and died from cookie malnutrition.

In the glory of your higher education and the brightside you found in life, there are others like me, who sit pale from no sun and remain dumb for not grasping $40,000 degrees.

I am. A loser.

And it's tough to tell you that outright, miss.


That "Most Likely to Succeed" label was a crock. There's a "smile" in that picture but who says sad folk don't smile? Truly, it is, closer to an upside down frown where the corners of my lips just refuse to rise and celebrate because there is no confetti. Not any that I see, anyways.

I think it an absolute joy that you've accomplished this life thus far. Me? Not so much. Just mortal. And if you're expecting a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, a success: Look elsewhere. He is not here. Since I'm having a rough time trying to figure out how to tell you this without scaring you off as I the utter failure oft do, here's a song to explain, a song which you -- just like most of the others -- don't know was inspired by/is for you, dear.

You might not even ever know this song exists.

I've yet to reply to your question.

From there? Who knows. But if my barely time with past girls proves yet again -- Nothing.





Hey Ambrosine

I'm not successful
No I'm no doctor
Despite the yearbook claim
I'm just an asshole
With no place to go
I've walked the streets with shame

Should you ask how am I
I'm not that really well
But I'll wear a smile
Should you ring your bell

I've been depressed babe
Been down for all 10
No classes taught me shit
I'm not a bright man
I'm just a dumb boy
Too stupid to get through it

Since you asked I'll answer
(Smile) Well I'm ok
Oh please stop your ringing
Your bell it brings back shame

I'm a fucking bum, oh didn't know?
I'm lame, not worth your hello or the smile you throw

But it's good to see you
and how well you have done
You're really a good girl
But I'm an asshole
With no place to go
Maybe you should just go

Your time has been amazing
Don't waste your smile on me
I know you're fine and ringing
But I walk the streets with shame

I'm a fucking bum, oh didn't you know?
I'm lame, not worth your hello or the smile you throw