Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Playlist: Leaps

New format. Took the dash away from the filename to better reflect the recent renaming of the entire music library which previously was a hindrance to making new playlists. I like making playlists. I still do. When I think about the music in my head, it means less space for the heavy confetti of ill thoughts. For as long as the music lasts, you umbrella through it. So hang on and hey-hey.
























01. Sleepless Feat. Jezzabell - Flume
02. Hotel - Broken Social Scene
03. High - Sun Glitters
04. Midnight Eyes - Daydream Cycle
05. At Attentions - Daedelus
06. Otherside Of The Game - Erykah Badu
07. Let It Be (feat. Veela) - Blackmill
08. Tapedeck - Robot Koch
09. The Wheel - SOHN
10. This Ain't a Surfin' Movie - Minus the Bear


Download the playlist here: Leaps

Click. Play. Enjoy.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Fog as the Fine Day


You'll never be more than the lies you tried to pass off as truth.

So go away.

I refuse to hear you speak of fog as the fine day.


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Sunday, July 21, 2013

A Knock on the Brain

     Another thump on the head with my own hands. That bad thought, OUT! Look what you did there, YOU IDIOT. To have been there and felt what you felt and did what you did, I throw a strike. These hits have been frequent these past few months. They started with light finger taps. Since then they've grown more pronounced. It's not just bad things that call for the bat. Something that once was good, left alone, deteriorates into a ruin that stands to rot above ground. I see it. I know how it hurts. With what do I answer? This: a hard palm direct to the temple. That replacement I then feel. The shock of it doggy-paddling through the brain. That, a hit. Then dizziness. My eyes loosen, looking nowhere. Swim. Swim. I could sink if I hit hard enough. I ought to be more careful. But I don't want to be reminded of the stupid and the sad. So hit, so it goes away.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Are Robots Happy?


A CAPTCHA is a program that generates a challenge-response to ensure the response is human.

And indeed I am.

Although I ponder if my fleshpuddle heart and my thoughtsoaked brain would be better off instead as forms of metal and microchips so that I could answer this life, with clarity, a yes.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Banana Duh


"Whyyy does it smell like banan?-- oh yeah there's a banana peel in my pocket."

"Why is there a banana peel in your pocket?"

"Because I just ate a banana, duh."

"And the follow-up chocolate-covered raisins made you forget?"

"Precisely."


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Sunday, February 17, 2013

When Bricks

Two Lego bricks stuck together. To separate them? Oh a great & terrible pain! The anguish in the pull. That stubborn friction screaming hell and why.

Then the disconnect made absolute. 

Two pieces gone from one another as gone as gone can be. Be damned, how scratches remain by the fury of such strained parting. 

Friday, February 15, 2013

Do You Remember Being in a Jumbo Jet?

It was night during an abandoned time when even the gods rest. Zooming over the Sea of Japan. Saw the moon reflect off a march of wrinkles on the ocean. You kept eyes low and saw a single light: A small boat all alone in that big black nothing. Oh how you wanted to be there! Away and away, unseen by the many who fly.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Garburators with a Kick Start Heart

     My head grinds trying to understand how someone can effortlessly dismiss a person who was previously embraced with all the care one can give to anotherWhat was framed and on the wall now just crumpled paper and tossed into a bin with the rest of the rubbish. I know I'm trash. That's probably the answer isn't it? I should have made it clear before attractions were played and save my self from inheriting another well of murky pain.
     I went into the relationship knowing that it would be marvelous to see a life with her. To see another day would mean something new to learn. Appreciate. Love. In this, I'd find a happiness. Smile as she smiled. Her wonders I would receive as my own, seeing a greater view of the world; more than I would have on hikes alone. Then to say goodnight, we'd mean it and be ever so eager to see what's next and take it on, hand-in-hand in comforting assurance we were to see it together.
   
     That's what it is to accept someone.
   
     Or how I think about it anyways. If you can find one person and do that and live it? Then it's a worthwhile time. Caught up in the splendor of it all that I forgot that I've got nothing to offer, dummy. The trash that I am invalidates me from ever being seen as what I would see in someone to spend time with. It takes getting dumped to know that. Or to be reminded of it. I knew it before, somewhere. I just got lost when things were well.  I believed in something good but had no foundation to support it. She's absolutely right to leave. They all are. How could she stand with me? As unstable as I am?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It was dumb of me to forget how meaningless I am
Hurt and all its synonyms
You left and am reminded


Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Princess Stacks, The Foolish Blocks

How do the pretty play? 
Half-meant with delicate fingers
Block on block then another on top
     But knock it 
          just as easy 
               and sure

Be a block? Be careful
Your worth? Your weight mid-fall
You crash, they'll laugh delighted
     Your stupid aches
          and awful cries
               they'll mock

Friday, February 1, 2013

Be Monster Me

Be notoriously difficult, spew gasoline hate at them all
Kick a fuck down their throat then massacre with a spark
     Them burning is the lullaby for tonight

Be a world-renowned cunt puncher
Deliver hurt to the hurtress
Thrust sterile uppercuts to hush the unborn
Another speechless? Say no more

A monster here
Here monster, cover me
Horns 
     and roar 
          and grimace
               at the horror surrounding

Be a monster me, live shouting
Less I lay silent, stuck fetal, dying

What good is good oh this uncaring earth?

Be a terrible thing 
     and let them burn
   


Friday, January 25, 2013

Two?


Gave
I gave in awe of you 

Loss
My loss when you went mute

Ask
With hope I did ask of you,

"What's one plus one?"




Tuesday, January 22, 2013


If I am to love
With no one to care to be loved
And to only love alone
Then it's a love that doesn't matter


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Her Paper Boats



She folded paper boats with ease
Creases pinched crisp with a sting
Nurturing the counterfeit frame
Set a goliath for guppy waters

But on a current of teeth?

Feeble as the hands bent to pretend the honest sail
Soak and fail this print of mush in the vast
Then send another boat sinking
Then another boat sinking

These are the passages she folded so free

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Song's Working Title Was "Why Did It Die?"

Though I might try I can not write what was just recently thrown away. First it must drown. Rot. Suffer. Decay. Wither in absence of the one who let go. Then I'll gaze at that death preserved, some voodoo shrunken head at which I can piss on in great relief.

Until I tinkle, in apropos of the current hurt (yay) I'll leave it best to the Beatles to sing For No One.




Monday, January 7, 2013

Sonnet CXXXVII

Thou blind fool, Love, what dost thou to mine eyes,
That they behold, and see not what they see?
They know what beauty is, see where it lies,
Yet what the best is take the worst to be.
If eyes, corrupt by over-partial looks,
Be anchored in the bay where all men ride,
Why of eyes' falsehood hast thou forged hooks,
Whereto the judgment of my heart is tied?
Why should my heart think that a several plot,
Which my heart knows the wide world's common place?
Or mine eyes, seeing this, say this is not,
To put fair truth upon so foul a face?
   In things right true my heart and eyes have erred,
   And to this false plague are they now transferred.


-- Shakespeare's Sonnets, William Shakespeare

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Sully Drop Sigh

See? This grey dawn is as the deep of winter
The grease of throughways and the veil of rooftops made scant
By the plod of punching rain 
To weep
By this rave a typhoon did whip
And maim the happy poor
And drown the many boatless
And made slinky dancers of palms
Broadcasting the float of all that is filth
On flood rivers of careless ruin steering wicked disaster 
To all those sunless within the vicinity of this 
Garbage crumpled to hurt
An inept bastard trashed

Who then cries

"See? This grey dawn is as"

This Day In January


How's it going? Not particularly well.




Thursday, January 3, 2013

Ahead of Mr. Stays

The warmth lingers but soon is gone 
with remnants of the prior good slipping across asphalt
Past stop signs that remain stationary and designated one ways
But the slip goes its own way and moves despite our bridle aims
(How feeble our tried controlling)
As gone, it goes again further
In the empty made past, the cold reigns and creeps to rub those left
Who sought and hold onto what made the prior great

Then to he who looks down and stays
And holds roses in full, thorns breaking as deep as it is embraced
He bleeds with knowing what pain that is this grip
To hurt himself in hope what was the good, persists
But she walked (as they all walked) in the wake of what he does not grasp:
To persist he too must go
To be good is to go
With the warmth that slips and the cold that creeps

Down that road where they've gone ahead
So fit in their endeavor, found warmth for themselves
and with able men who move past signs and walk their own way
fighting cold with a coat of weathered callouses

See as he perceives, naked but stained in thorns
Still standing the ill as all the rest go on across
With the last of that linger with a grip bleeding steady dumb
Relief in seeing the fire of women who lived on

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Crash and The Mistress

I'm neither dent nor care in this world of hers
For all her woes I am of little worth and
So should it be that she is such; she toils hard and I'm just a bum
The loud mass that speak and say to her 
Commanding, deciding "Do what must"
I am just one who has given unfit heart
In faint voice suggesting "Do what you like"
Heard or unheard I am left hanging
As a care not cared for, evident by stranding through silence
And I alone to myself so quiet I think it just 
To go to bed and not wake
Yes embrace the pillows of how I crash