There is certainly something to be said about one man's limited contact with the rest of the world and the very frontier of that communication taking place in a social networking website. Namely, it's pitiful. My own anxieties and mastery of self-loathing keep me from real world interactions and thus, I am relegated to the admittedly lame safety of the clickety-clack-clacks of a keyboard and the glow of an old-school beige box computer screen. This is how I mingle.
Let us disregard the MySpace and Blogger accounts. These affairs are a one-man show where I take stage and spotlight looking at an auditorium with the lights so low that the audience can't be seen. Interaction? Nil. Enter Gaia Online.
I came across Gaia many a month ago and took interest in the character creation aspect, alone - not taking into consideration any of the other features associated with the website. Having created a virtual self in past games, I thought it was another effort worth looking into. I didn't take the jump and sign up with an account immediately but it was something that was kept in mind. Up until a week ago.
In an attempt to kill the curiousity, I signed up with an account, got set with default items and somehow finagled my way to the general chatroom area known in Gaia as "Towns." It's not all text, mind you, but instead has an interface with a visual aspect consisting of your avatar (created character) and other avatars running around and conversing with whatever it is that people talk about. The thing about Gaia, however, is that it's well known to be marketed towards and populated by teenagers, teenagers, and did I mention teenagers? I quickly found out, "Post-High School Central" this is not.
That jump and up until now I am uncomfortable with the realization that I've committed myself to socializing in an area that is not developed for the twenties-minded. To be fair, at least I'm not a creepy, early 40's goon eagerly hoping to have cyber sex with a pre-pubescent teen who doesn't know any better. "They" say it happens and frankly, I'm not surprised. And with the horrors of "creepdom," you will also see other flavors of the less-desirable faculties of humanity reveal itself.
It's quite interesting to see a Gaian diehard throw automatic hate on a noob (new user) even at times when you're on the receiving end. See as how online behavior is inevitably representative of real world decorum, it is a sad site to see that abortive discrimination is still so easily thrown around. "I hate you because I'm supposed to hate you. For I am superior and you, the low person." As harmless as "noob hate" is, its origins in the mind is far from innocent. What can exist in one, will exist in another. Hate does not live alone.
Gaia is not completely ill. More often then not, you'll come across someone who is capable of looking beyond your default clothing. (It might as well be your skin color, sexual orientation, religion, whatever target generalized prejudice needs.)
I've enjoyed my time thus far with the slight instances of connection with another human being. The kind word, the shared interest - these are to be enjoyed and relished in its simplicity, especially for me, given my livelihood in the "doors shut, curtains closed" way. Socially, I've accomplished more in this past week then I have in months. It's a truth I don't like and if confidence was my name, Gaia would still be a curiosity and this blog entry would not have been written. Instead, you're stuck with Lacking.
I don't know if Gaia will be a long term engagement. I'd like to think "no" and that there will be a better anything to put my time and effort in but as it stands, my own insecurities keep me trapped, replacing a reality with a computer generated one. Since Gaia is populated by real people - 97.3% teenager, I assume - hate and kindness exist in both. The kindness is swell but it is that hate and other malicious tendencies in a human being that keep me in front of this beige box glow. The safeties are on and whatever verbal fists and kicks are thrown, they only end up as text. Unfortunately, so does the kindness.
