Fare Well Lovely

Another morning recording ghetto rig. Say "Hi" Santa.

You were always kind to me. You just may be the girl most written. You may never know this just one more tune is again for you, Parachute Girl. I hope for the best for you oh Modern Lovely and it's a hope carried in this song.

Farewell . . .

Farewell . . .





Fare Well Lovely


Oh Modern Lovely, how I loved thee
For the good that you are, do you see it yourself?
When you smiled my world it smiled
And how lovely you are made everything well


And I understand that you must go now
Live on, live on, live on
and I hope for your best


So fly happy oh Modern Lovely
Fare thee well, hope to see you again
When found smile let it shine on
Let us know that you're doing so well

And I understand that you must go now
Live on, live on, live on
and I hope for your best

Troubles got you down
But trouble will let you go
Let you go if you go out


So fly happy oh Modern Lovely
Fare thee well, hope to see you again
When found smile let it shine on
Let us know that you're doing so well
So fly happy
So fly happy
Oh Modern Lovely

So fly happy

So fly happy

So fly happy, farewell

For those wondering what the tuft of hair was at the top of the picture
 above? That's Nick a.k.a Nick-Nick a.k.a. ButtFace, chillin' in
the morning on my windowsill. Yup, ML was kind to him too.

Her Name No More?

Vexed am I to want to write the thought of her but promised have I to no longer commit to her another word. By writing these very words yes I see I have broken the vow to sing her name no more.

This burn is gargantuan.

Parachute Girl [performance video]

Parachute Girl

There you go, there you go, there you go girl

Fall again

To the boy, to the boy, to the boy

You so wanted

So you jumped, yeah ya jumped, yeah ya jumped

Yeah from heaven

To a boy, to a boy, to a boy

Below wanted

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

There ya go, there ya go, there ya go girl

Fall prepared

Don't ya fall, don't ya fall, don't ya fall

Hard in despair

See ya float, see ya float, see ya float

Down yeah so fair

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute girl

Come with care

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

There's no need to

Fall hard for me

Come down girl, yeah it's safe see?

Land in my embrace

'Cause I'll be here, yes I'll be here

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute girl

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute girl

Stunning Brain Tumor [performance video]

Stunning Brain Tumor

Can't shake this darn thing off

Look

It's stuck there, I'm stuck here

To my detriment

How did I come across?

Now

It's stuck there, I'm stuck here

But you don't belong

To me (No)

Stuck in my mind

You won't leave my mind

I think that I might

Have a tumor

And I'll fuckin' die

Should you stay in mind

Why did you have to be

So stunning?

I'd rather have you not

But

It's stuck there, I'm stuck here

El Scorcho I hum

I'd rather you be gone

Ugh

It's stuck there, I'm stuck here

Fuckin' hell what's wrong

With me?

Stuck in my mind

You won't leave my mind

I think that I might

Have a tumor

And I'll fuckin' die

Should you stay in mind

Why did you have to be

So stunning?

Be so stunning?

Be so stunning?

Be so stunning?

You're so lovely

Oh Modern Lovely

Modern Lovely [performance video]

Modern Lovely

Still thinking of you

Kind all kind in all 5 feet of you

How can humble take so

Much space in my typically tumbling mind

And there you stand so steady

Calming my typically tumbling mind

Oh what a find!

Hey!

Oh what a find!

Hey!

You're a treasure of the age

A wondrous treasure of the age

The modern lovely of the day

You're such a marvel

Look up to the awe that is 10 feet of you

Monument spiff articulation

Oh so you CoD and be cappin' those fools?

But you don't do DiVinyls?

Yup that's mindfucking adorable

Oh what a find!

Hey!

Oh what a find!

Hey!

You're a treasure of the age

A wondrous treasure of the age

The modern lovely of the day

When I wander off you call my name

Yes it's joy to hear you call my name

You're a treasure of the age

A wondrous treasure of the age

The modern lovely of the day

The modern lovely of the day

The modern lovely of the day

The Retreat Addressed

The following is a reply to March regarding the status of a former admire:

I mentioned J Buddha because I thought your initial "Justin!!!!!!" holler was for a call about her.

Yeahp, I've stopped admiring Modern Lovely. It's emotionally better for me to keep my heart close than to leave it dangling out for someone to Knock-Out! brutally like a heavyweight boxer. I never did try to talk to her. Heh heh. Not properly - I don't know how to "talk to a girl." Hah. I'll continue to do what I've been doing now and roll on with the friendly kindness to Modern Lovely; it won't be any different. I just won't be thinking of her fondly as I once did.

No more poems.

No more songs.

No more "Modern Lovely" in the tender light where she was once seen.

The spot is empty now again.

Whoa, I haven't felt that affectionate about a girl within close proximity for years. (A partial reason to why she's been named the Modern Lovely.) Oh well. Hah.

Went to Eastridge, bought a book I've been meaning to get for a few weeks now at Barnes & Noble. Looked at a few chicks to help my mind get out of Modern Lovely mode. Seeing the pretty ones helped.

How have you been? And Buddha? When did you last chat with our sister?

~LL

For Naught I Have Adored

For naught I have adored

This girl, this girl who shook the world

And seeing that fascinating sight

I committed many a shapely word

For that, dear girl I apologize

Knowing now I know

It is something she wanted not

so for naught I have adored

aside from the shapely committed word

now etched in eternity

oh she

oh fascinating sight

from here written, to future years

kept certain, relevant

relevant as in these very days

she shook the world

and unknowingly shook me

grabbing a hold of my creative burn

eternalizing her worth

For that, dear girl I apologize

But for naught I have adored

yeah for naught I have adored

If You Don't Like Me Now Then You Never Will

If you don't like me now then you never will

For I cherished you day 1

Wrote your song day 2-3

Wrote verse and lyric for weeks, chorus yes hear it

And during all that, of you dearly am thinking

of the Whoa that is you Modern Lovely

If you don't like me now then you never will

Since cherish first seen in that photo booth

And spoke and heard of the beauty of you

How your lips uttered so fine

How your hips grooved humble

Should have noticed how your eyes never saw mine

If you don't like me now then you never will

Do we hook up? You sat replied to me standing

"No no, I'm not really looking"

But within the week you are gushing

in arms of Blanc you so wanted

58 miles, 1 hour 9 minutes away

If you don't like me now then you never will

What

am

I

doing?

Because you never will

No, you never ever will

Though Baudelaire's Motley Fool I am

This I know, I pray, oh Venus I chant . . .

If you don't like me now then you never will

Woe of the Whoa

Close my eyes into the hush of mind's night

Close my mind away from the Whoa of day mind's time

For during mind's time stands towering

The Might

that is the Whoa of the wakeful mind

and crush I do

for the Whoa that isn't mine

So

Woe is the Whoa?

Yeah

But what a Woe this Whoa be!

So much so that she lingers

Yes, the paramount beauty

Look I do but look is all I do

With the open eyes of a thirsting mind

Though I know that Whoa will never be mine

So away from Woe

I

Close my eyes into the hush of mind's night

Close my mind away from the Woe of day mind's time

But when I wake

Darn

that crush still sits in towering shade of

The Might

That is the Woe of the Whoa of the awake mind

Parachute Girl

Parachute Girl

There you go, there you go, there you go girl

Fall again

To the boy, to the boy, to the boy

You so wanted

So you jumped, so ya jumped, so ya jumped

Yeah from heaven

To a boy, to a boy, to a boy

Below wanted

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

There ya go, there ya go, there ya go girl

Fall prepared

Don't ya fall, don't ya fall, don't ya fall

Hard in despair

See ya float, see ya float, see ya float

Down yeah so fair

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute Girl

Come with care

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

There's no need to

Fall hard for me

Come down girl, yes it's safe see?

Land in my embrace

'Cause I'll be here, yeah I'll be here

You fall with such grace

It's swell to see you

Fall towards my embrace

and I'll be here waiting

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute Girl

Parachute, Parachute, Parachute Girl

Adore: A Detachable Commitment

The songs I sing. The words I write. I sing & write with the sweetest of intent. The creative gush goes out on dishes of glimmering silver as candied delights ready to be consumed by whom it may concern. The girl written doesn't know - naturally - but others do, yayo. They know her to be a most wonderful being.

Despite my haughty stance as stated in Depart from Admire, the seed has been buried and it checks me, kicks me, teases me to put forth more thoughts of cherish. Another lyric. Another verse. It has to go somewhere, aye? To lock a seed from growing is far more straining then to let it grow withered.

And I boom full what you see and hear for she truly is a person of spectacular worth, don't cha know?

However.

I plug into this admire, guarded. Through quadruple-shielded cable is sent that sweet, sweet intent. Out to that platinum-plated super transference 1/4" jack is a sound heard out Whoa. 'Cause she is the Whoa, aye? And if and when Modern Lovely discovers this output from seeing the sight that is tender she and she runs far, far away OR returns with apathy personified . . .

then I'll simply plug out.

I wrote what I wrote. I sang what I sang. It'll just be there. That sweet intent. Meant for someone Whoa.

But no. Heh. =P

It's garbage, aye?

It's a detachable commitment.

(I refuse to set up for heartbreak, dummy. Hah.)

Pas Blanc

Here, here these dirt strands

are just what is merely seen

Though not the blonde perfection

that you so dearly seek

They fall just the same, top my mind

See it wave hello

But noticed not, overtaken

by those deemed oh so fairer

I'm just me

I'm not my hair

Yeah

Here I stand, surface sun eaten

is just what is merely seen

Though not the paler purity

that you so dearly seek

It covers heart just the same

See it wave hello

But it is not noticed, looks go

to that deemed oh so fairer

I'm just me

I'm not my skin

Yeah

I know I'm not a fair boy

But with this black hair

and this brown skin

I

can

make you smile, just the same

Oh Jazelle

I'm just me

I'm not what you might see

Yeah

Stunning Brain Tumor

Stunning Brain Tumor

Can't shake this darn thing off
Look
It's stuck there, I'm stuck here
To my detriment
How did I come across?
Now
It's stuck there, I'm stuck here
But you don't belong
To me (No)

Stuck in my mind
You won't leave my mind
I think that I might
Have a tumor

And I'll fuckin' die
Should you stay in mind
Why did you have to be
So stunning?

I'd rather have you not
But
It's stuck there, I'm stuck here
El Scorcho I hum
I'd rather you be gone
Ugh

It's stuck there, I'm stuck here
Fuckin' hell what's wrong
With me?

Stuck in my mind
You won't leave my mind
I think that I might
Have a tumor

And I'll fuckin' die
Should you stay in mind
Why did you have to be
So stunning?

Be so stunning?
Be so stunning?
Be so stunning?
You're so lovely
Oh Modern Lovely

Soul Meets Body

A favorite.

On Repeat.

Now a " " of mine as well. Argghh. heh heh.

Depart from Admire

With all of them seen I never took part in what made them the wonder that they are. I didn't get to see who they really were. There were no memories together that bookmark a smile. There was no soft embrace of last night. There was no tender look the other day. Above all there wasn't even a hello. The one-sided affair that is "me for my admire" has long kept me gasping for what I could never have. Additionally, who I am, where I am in my current status as a barely-entity is not the sweet prince that they wish for.

Girls do not want what is beneath them and rightfully so. They deserve yes even more than the promise of a great kingdom. They deserve the world. In this dilapidated cardboard box where I decay, there is absolutely nothing of worth. No promise or intent could ever be seen desired. So . . . my desire too must go. I will no longer yearn for what I never had. My own dreams are tired because of the constant running since that first fine girl over a decade ago. So too my dreams of her must go. To all those pretty girls I saw: Thank you. But I need rest far, far away from admire - I know it now to have actually been a burden.

Watch me breathe easy.

Watch me breathe free.

Simalucrum Cinque High

This is

This is

Such a mess this is

Scattered all about

Can't get things together

Put it here but it ends up everywhere

Put it there but it ends up here

Tornado'd by one fine thing

Being the Whoa Being

This is

This is

A fine mess this is

All about track 4 out of LZIII

Things together jumbled gush

It ends up everywhere when put here

It ends up here when put where?

That golly tornado

Had to be the fine Whoa Being

This is

This is

Such a mess this is

This is

This is

The "whip of the" missed

A

Tumbling, rutting mess

Gone on and on and on and on and on and on . . .

A Meditation in Prose to J Buddha

The following is a recent correspondence with J Buddha spread over the past 3 days. It addresses the fate of a muse, the suspicion of certain sweets, and diving Hawaii.

[MESSAGE 1]

So Modern Lovely is in great spirits with her current admire. If anything is to be learned from my many years in solitude it is that in a relationship (yes, I know even though I haven't beeeeeen in one blehh. heh heh) what is of paramount importance is:

Fundamentally
what makes the other person happy

and

to know that, to be aware of it is a happiness you find in yourself. Even if it doesn't involve you in any capacity.

So I'm happy and loco about it too. Woohoo!!

hah

Joy with and for others? That's an exquisite trait, Buddha. It never occurred to me that a sense of one's self-joy could actually be selfless. That's tremendous.

Random question: What's your favorite candy?

~LL

[MESSAGE 2]

Ahh no worries at all. Good times, Buddha. Glad to meet Modern Lovely. What was previously just another face online is now a complete, unabbreviated girl.

Whoa.

What was good will stay good
as with
all my past admirations
(Though often brokenhearted I departed in silence, as silent as the admiration itself)

Hah.

Anywho, more passionate fuel for my poetic ammo.

Again. Good times, J Buddha. haaah . . .

There was a Halloween where I received a suspicious-looking orange paper wrapped morsel from a Latin household. During that night's stash attack I picked it up with caution and unwrapped the orange to find a tan caramel-esque candy. Drunk on the sugar I had already partaken of, I haphazardly popped the suspicion into my mouth.

It tasted like shit. =l

I spat it out immediately. "Fuuck I knew it!" I thought-raged to myself.



Okie dokie, sister. You've got a sweet tooth with a particular delight in chocolate. Worry not, I am not Latin.

~Solitude ( heh)

[MESSAGE 3]

And I admire your approach to life. To walk on with bona fide strength, wisdom and mirth is a combination in bliss, yayo. As for sounding smart and the look up? Aw gee thanks Buddha. ;P It's the writing, dear sister. When I write it just comes out a certain way I guess, a way that appeals to me personally.

A few years ago I showed an acquaintance of mine a piece that I wrote and her response was that I sounded "upper crust," all proper-like ya know? I thought she was calling me a PRICK, hah hah, to which she denied.

But

Admittedly

I am a prick. At times.

heh heh . . .

Girls are attracted to assholes, right? Are there girls attracted to pricks? Oh Buddha if I could speak to a girl as confidently as I pen verse I'd be drowning in 'nani. =O I'm going to have to invest in quality scuba gear. First stop: Hawaii. Gonna breast-stroke through all dem fine wahines.

=/ =p hah

How are things over your way in the Philippines, J Buddha? What merry events have delighted you most? San Jose has warmed up considerably; an American summer awaits your return.

~LL

The Whip of That Step

It was regular

this step

Now irregular

Affected by

steps just past

Pavement shook

A crack

deep

into the wells

of Broken's origin

Now step the irregular step

Broken

A crack

Shook from regularity

To have

Step this step before

Why

do find more?

Go ask Leopold von

No no not de Sade

And in the

whip of that step

strife

swallowed, gargled

seized and made to be

mistress

Oh mistress

Yes please

Startle and shock

fulfill absolute

this broken step

before the

yearn uncertain

return

to regularity

It was regular

this step

Now back to regular

this step

to the

faint woes

about ghosts

made-up, perfumed pretty

When jiggered

was the step

woes sang symphonic

in full

from Broken well

Pronto

since unbroken

uncracked

unshaken now back

to the

monotony of a

regular step

yearn

one does

for the mistress with

the whip of that step

For Whom the Rose Holds Its Petals

I came across a rose

thinking

for whom this may be?

Its red intent held tight

holding on for a bosom

to be pressed against

with thoughts of

"My oh my oh my how lovely!"

Still

this sticker dollar'd

plastic coned rose

sat

uncoined

sat

with the gum

and beauty magazines.

I came across this rose

knowing

for (certain) whom this would be.

Yes its red intent going

to the girl

who is game,

to the girl clad

in repeat horizons,

to the girl who

not once

not twice

but thrice

had said my name

when I wandered to the whim

of my lonesome fold.

Her voice.

My name.

God damn I do exist.

And within

the folds

of

this rose

echoed the pleasant song

of when she

had said my name.

With a smile

I grasp this rose

by its plastic cone merchandising.

Drip drip

it drops water upon

my shoe,

water from the container

of halfbutt shop try sustenance.

"It'll never be."

What?

"It'll never be" again is heard

from the red intent.

Drip.

What? How do you know?

"I know for I am a rose."

Yayo this SoCal girl the one I spoke wi- . . .

"It'll never be."

"I know for I am a rose."

(Certain) dampened

I return the flowery devil

back to its shop slop bucket.

Still, it did sit.

Sticker dollar'd. Still.

Plastic coned. Still.

Queried.

For whom this rose,

was this for?

Thoughts go to

the girl

oh she of of humble lovely fair.

The Royal Lady of Repeat Horizons

whose line

upon line

upon line

line my mind

with the paint

of

that pleasant song.

And fresh this coat be.

Just as fresh as she.

There she lingers.

This rose for her,

it be.

But upon the second grasp smiling,

red whispers

"It'll never be"

at which then

a petal fell.

Muse

"Yayo, she currently is the later idea."

The Muses (Ancient Greek αἱ μοῦσαι, hai moũsai:^[1] perhaps from the o-grade of the Proto-Indo-European root *men- "think"^[2]) in Greek mythology, poetry, and literature are the goddesses who inspire the creation of literature and the arts. They were considered the source of the knowledge, related orally for centuries in the ancient culture, that was contained in poetic lyrics and myths. The compliment to a real woman who inspires creative endeavor is a later idea.

[Click HERE to read the rest of the Wikipedia entry on Muse]