FACT #566 ABOUT ME

FACT #566 ABOUT ME: I am you and your boyfriend's relationship strengthener.

To King & Queen, I am but a pawn.

To my horror, my outward appearance lends itself to a female's eyes some matter of appreciation. Get an eye check-up, ladies. There's something wrong with your peepers. It is because of whatever they sight of my exterior that they come to with a step aside from who matters most to her: a relationship grounded heavy into care with a boy who can give her the world. The girl, in but few moments spent with me, finds out for herself I am no suave beast, no king confident, and no future to make her time worthwhile. This is known to her but to her boyfriend, having no knowledge of who I am aside from what his girlfriend sees, spotlights me as a threat. A jealousy. Another One.

But I am NO ONE. I am a LOSER. I am a BUM. I am a MISTAKE.

She might tease her boyfriend with the vision of me. Put on some minor hurt to give a pulse check to her boy to see if he really cares. He does, naturally. And there will be tension. And in that tension they'll know they do mean everything to each other. Aware of the nonsense inside now fully revealed, no longer veiled by my fedora and tie, the girl soon goes back to the boyfriend. She skips back to him merrily, thankfully with a joking tune of the wreck left far behind her. And I'll stand alone as I always have and I'll see the laughs of both boy and girl sharing the storied massacre of the fuck-up she once stepped aside to in a moment of blindness.

But she can see now. And so can you.

And you two in your kingdom will be the better for it.

Yeah, you're welcome.