The Dead December
I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget
And all I kept for you I held dear
Hoping our winter would never be
But you accepted in secret
the scarves of another human being
And it's cold now, it's so cold now
So twisted in your December
Threw shadows in my face that it was still our spring
But took another dick and smiled
and kept me all caved up you ruthless bitch
I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget
How you hide
How you lied
How you hurt
And it's cold now, it's so cold now
I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget
How you hide
How you lied
How you hurt
How hot my tea I brewed this day
To scatter cobwebs and stay awake
To see through thick clouds that smother the sun
By blowing hot breath to break them apart
And see the heat to match my cup
How hot my tea I turned with fire
To think "don't want", keep check desire
To feel through beats and thoughts that linger
Sip calm and seek truth, there I find it
A tea made hot to wash out the cold
How hot my tea how I took the time
To drink of the earth and know its rhymes
To keep shutters open to filter the woe
With this made cup with care I do drink
At the last frigid still, bring tea for my sake
It's a fine series of disappointments; to say you want to be with someone but not really be there. Though I wonder if all relationships are like this and again there are thoughts I've come across I would not have come to realize as someone single but most revealing is that this "being together" thing only has served to reflect and magnify my insecurities, not dissolve them which goes to show I am not fit to share something so broken, like a child with a fucked up toy remains careless.
