Girls & Monsters

I wanna write about monsters but end up writing about girls. Again. "I dunno, maybe they're the sa—" "Oh how dare you!" cuts in another.

So Ugly

A song as a defensive measure might be a thing.

So if you ever hear me you'll know what it might be.😳#confession

— Leonard Lacking (@leonardlacking) July 23, 2018

SO UGLY

Thank the Lord I’m so ugly
Gives perspective the beautiful can’t see
They’re stuck and rooted at the top of the canyon
I’m in the valley looking up at abandon

See the sins on my
ugly face
such a disgrace

to be




[NOTE: This is the quickest song I ever knocked up, consequently that also makes it the shortest, but every emotion in every word that needed to be expressed is contained therein. Recorded straight to the tablet's microphone too, no edits, the third take.]

You to Believe

You to Believe

Think your thoughts out louder so I can hear
To keep it all inside your head it does you no favors, dear

And there you are alone, you’re by yourself
Or so you think, but it’s because you won’t share
(So let me hear)
You just need to
Just need you

For you to believe

Think you’re all alone, but hey I’m here
Soon as you show it, everything will be alright, dear
Just let us hear
What you hear
(It’s why we’re here)
You just need to
Just need you

For you to believe

For you to believe
For you to believe
(In what we have, each other)
For you to believe
(For you to believe)
For you to believe

Limbs

Limbs

I got no legs to wholly love you
I can’t run, I can’t walk, I can’t kneel
But I do love you

Across the field lay the bones of those before
Who ran like I did run, relentless were those guns

I got no arms to wholly love you
I can’t touch, I can’t grasp, I can’t hold
But I do love you

Beyond the trench, the deadly aims of those who reached
To shoot another son

I’m not whole to wholly love you
I got no legs, got no arms, just a heart
That wholly loves you
Just this heart
Just one heart
Just my heart to wholly love you

Kill Your Hold

Kill Your Hold

If I could kill it I would
Oh those of you for sure
I’d burn the land of your lies
And walk the emptied earth so wise

Kill your hold
For sure
Chains of when it was good
No More
If I could kill you I

If I could kill it I would
Oh those of you for sure
I’d boil the sea of your schemes
And walk the emptied earth so free

Kill your hold
For sure
Chains of when it was good
No More
A shackle of thorns, your sins
That hurt
If I could kill you I would

If I could kill you I would
Oh those of you I would
I’d rid myself of your hold
To walk this emptied earth alone

Just Trees

Just Trees

In all the years I’ve grown
All the years I’ve stood

withering

The wind and sun break bold
The breath of night is cold
slaying

What a place to be a tree
stuck as being
Here amongst all those alive
Many views they’re seeing

We’re all just dying

It doesn’t matter now
All my leaves are gone
They’ve all fallen down

I’m just one of all
No distinction here
It doesn’t matter when I’m gone

What others just can shake
I keep as pain that keeps
chopping

And no decisive being
Just a forest fool
frenzy

What a place to be a tree
stuck as being
Here amongst all those alive
Many views they’re seeing

We’re all just dying out

Magpie Memorandum

Magpie Memorandum

Was born through filth
How you sent me
You know
Did not volunteer
You just sent me
No choice
Now I have to be
Now I have to live
This time that you push forth
That stops when you’re bored

I can’t be what you want

To go through filth
How you meant it
You know
Did not volunteer
But to praise you
The choice
So I have to be
What you want me to be
Or else to a worse place
I’ll end up, it’s your show

I can’t be what you want
despite your best intentions

It’s my lot to carry on and remain
This chance I’ve been given
No choice but to take
And be
Carrion

Stranger No More

Stranger No More

If I am me enough they’ll
figure out the get-up’s phony
They’ll see through secondhand
hats and ties a fraying stigma

The dread that drags and catches
Back it down, might reconcile
But a futile effort splits illusions
Here and now: the odd one

So I won’t stay
No I can’t stay

You’ve seen enough of me
Your glaring eyes shout discomfort
No ragged hats and ties
could duly keep your screams muffled

My awkward being can be seen
Despite a try to cover
No cane to stand can keep me standing
So I’ll have to walk off

So I won’t stay
No I can’t stay
I don’t want to be

The stranger

I don’t want to be the stranger, no more
 
So I won’t stay
No I can’t stay

If you’re offended I didn’t mean to
I had no idea, I didn’t know
Social norms are to me
oh so foreign, I don’t belong

I'm feeling foolish just to be me
Apologies for being
How strange I am, it's who I am
it's who I am, I'm sorry

So I won’t stay
No I can’t stay

So I won’t stay
No I can’t stay
I don’t want to be

The stranger

I don’t want to be the stranger, no more

If I Could Fall This Time

If I Could Fall This Time

Look who’s sick
to stand with arms outstretched
Hoping you would accept
what I would sooner give

Clap for it
A dance of one which you
direct so cunningly
A seal play for fish

If I could fall just one more time
If I could fall
Just let me fall this time

Oh seraphim
Where do your lights all go?
You chant a blessed warmth
all for the one enthroned

I long for less
How short is the rest
But then to breathe, a need?
Oh praise that one last breath

If I could fall just one more time
If I could fall
Just let me fall this time

If I could fall
If I could fall just one more time
If I could fall
Just let me fall this time
If I could fall
Just let me fall this time

And go
Just go

Stay

Stay
Words by Lily

Don’t tell me you love me
if it’ll make you run away
I’d rather not hear it
and have you stay

Stay with me

Just don’t give me love

Don’t tell me you love me
if it’ll make you run away
I’d rather not hear it
and have you stay

Make no sound

Just don’t give me love
Don’t give me love

Stay with me
Make no sound

Just don’t give me love
Don’t give me love
Just don’t give me love and turn back around
Just don’t give me love
Don’t give me love
Just don’t give me love and turn back around

Sordid Sights (Spectacle of Midway Lights)

Sordid Sights (Spectacle of Midway Lights)

How can you really win?
When the point of the game
Is to fool the mark
Give ‘em hope
But then the prizes are rubbish

It’s so easy to sin
When there’s so much to see
All that you want
Is it wrong?
They’re sometimes the same thing

There’s just so much
Oh please free me

From all these sordid sights
I see
and I see
It’s better to be blind
Can’t you see?
Sometimes
To better see what’s right
Take my eyes
It’s alright
Help me see what’s right
Take my eyes
Oh it’s fine

With the sun so bright
Glare of lights at night
A fire constant
Glazes your eyes
So much so, it dims your morals

The oh-so-pretty ones play
Plucking aches in the brain
A base instinct
Tickets to take
Standing welcome, but uneasy
                             
There’s just so much
Oh please free me

They’ll keep walking, all that lighting’s got me
To be damned is seeing
Please take it from me, give me release

A Carousel Occasion

A Carousel Occasion

Look and you’ll see
Something’s got you questioning
Is it you, is it me?
That I might know and you know nothing?

She asked what do you know?
She asked what do you know?

What secret I keep
The very thing that makes me happy
Am I cheat?
A provocateur that keeps you spinning?

She asked what do you know?
She asked what do you know?

And when the carnival leaves will you then believe
I’m not as mad as you think?

She asked what do you know?
She asked what do you know?

      I said: You’re
                 wonderful,
                 wonderful,
                 wonderful

When You Turn (Into a Zombie Girl)

When You Turn (Into a Zombie Girl)

So I saw this girl and she looked kinda funny
Sat upon the floor and was awfully still
On her face a smile but her eyes were muddy
See me I don't know oh I pondered this

When you turn into a zombie girl
It may sound absurd
But really it's the end of the world

God left you alone and now you're gone
The Devil knows you're dead but he doesn't want you
Here I came too late when I thought I wasn't
I liked you from afar, soooo far I'm late

When you turn into a zombie girl
It may sound absurd
But really it's the end of the world



[NOTE: This is what happens when you leave the t.v. on Chiller. Came upon the thought on how funny it would be to smack a zombie lightly across the face with a fireplace poker. Then I intended to use it as a lyric. It didn't make it in, but from that came this small bit of amusement.]

The Dead December

The Dead December

I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget

And all I kept for you I held dear
Hoping our winter would never be
But you accepted in secret
the scarves of another human being

And it's cold now, it's so cold now

So twisted in your December
Threw shadows in my face that it was still our spring
But took another dick and smiled
and kept me all caved up you ruthless bitch

I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget
How you hide
How you lied
How you hurt

And it's cold now, it's so cold now

I wanted to forgive
But I could not forget
How you hide
How you lied
How you hurt

She's Fine

She's Fine

She's fine I know and she's mine for now
She's all I want
And that's all that I need there's no need to hang it up

She smiles oh wow and she's kind to me
She's all I need
And that's all that I need she keeps me from cutting up

She's the heart, she's fine I know, she's all I need to know
She's the part, was missing her, it's nice to know you girl

She pinches me to show she's with me
This bruise is real
From red pain to blue stained she's a reason to stay

Her pretty mouth, she calls me babe
She's so Sweet
This bitter head made better when she's seen day by day

She's the heart, she's fine I know, she's all I want to know

She's the part, was missing her, it's nice to know you girl

She's fine I know
She's fine I know
She's fine I know
She's mine

She's fine I know
She's fine I know
She's fine

Chump

Chump

Oh please be honest dear you don't feel what I'm feeling
How I liked you then and now this greater love and
Sweeter by the day, the night a fine time oh yeah

But there you're sighing whenever I want to be closer
Now I'm left wanting, my girl doesn't want me around her
So I wonder who am I to you, honestly?

When I look to you; you're not there
But when you gotta be somewhere? 
Yeah guess who's there?

It's me

I'm the last thing on your mind if I'm in there at all
But then I'm a contender when your butt needs to get to the mall
It's you I'm driving to get away from me yet again

All my messages sent to you deemed unimportant
The more I want to be with you the deeper you're hiding
But when you have to be far away? Oh how instant your reply!

When I'd like to be with you; you're not there
But when you want to be with someone else? 
I'm ready to bring you there

I'm such a fucking chump what the hell am I doing?
I thought relationships would be more than all this hurting

Somewhere, Missouri

Somewhere, Missouri

Don't need Missouri for you to leave

You're so far away but just down that street

When I ask a question you abandon me

By remaining silent and not answering

Talking to myself 

                        this kind of hell

Where I have someone 

                        but she's not there

Why take a plane? Simply just don't speak

Say nothing of us together or what care you keep

I've got plenty but you leave so easily

To some other street somewhere oh misery

Talking to myself

                       this kind of hell

Where I have someone

                       but she's not there

She's not there

Don't need Missouri for you to leave

You're so far away but just down that street

When I miss you, you feel nothing

By remaining silent and avoiding me

Talking to myself

                       this kind of hell

Where I have someone

                       but she's not there

She's not there

This Island Alone

This Island Alone

Four thousand seven hundred 48 days is how long I've been here
I've got the bugs and the birds and a dog to talk to
The moon up I see is much too much oh too much familiar
Is there such a thing as sunny weather?

Serotonin says hi less frequent, I'm a broken sequence
Counting in skips and odds, myself dividing
Dumb playing dumb can't get the shapes through what's intended
Think oh yes but it's probably best just end it

And it's all I got and I'm not enjoying the view

But oh no I am on this island alone
So sick and tired of this overcast view
Because oh yes I am on this island alone
Where do I jump to go break through?

The moon up I see is much too much oh too much familiar
Is there such a thing as sunny weather?
Dumb playing dumb can't get the shapes through what's intended
Think oh yes but it's probably best just to end it

And it's all I got and I'm not enjoying the view

But oh no I am on this island alone
So sick and tired of this overcast view
Because oh yes I am on this island alone
Where do I jump to go break through?

Somebody's left a gun
Think I'll go pick it up

Marbie

Marbie

Oh Marbie baby don't you know?

Jed don't love you

Everyone but you seems to know

that he don't love you

Even though he might kiss you

He won't play tennis with just you

Or take care of how you feel

Sa iba ka na lang, mas mabuti pa

Look to someone worth your time

Don't try to keep pace with those careless guys

That's right, that's right, slap Jed in the face, you crazy

Oh Marbie baby don't you know?

Jed don't love you

But Marbie baby you already know 

That someone loves you

And she plays there at home everyday

For one sweet person to come home everyday

And love all that you are, Inay

Look at the Castles and there you'll find

A love that's so yours and all your time

Just like her mother, Rio always smiles

Remember smile, remember smile yeah

Oh Marbie baby don't you know?

That someone loves you

Yes Joy is what you need to know

Go Rio Rio Rio, to your mother go

Oh Marbie baby yeah you know

That we do love you

Oh Marbie baby do you know

We all love you

Go, Go, Go

Go Rio Rio Rio, to your mother go

Come Again

This is what happens when you envelop your mind in something so Sublime, ahah.

Oh.

And boom boom.

Sublime + Boom Boom = Come Again

Come Again

Come again, come again, come on girl
Come again, come again, come on girl
(I like it when you . . .)
Come for me, come again, come on girl
On my bed oh yeah, come on girl

You know I like it when you
Ooh yes I like it when you go
Ooooooooh ah

So come again, come again, come on girl
(I wanna hear you . . .)
Come again, come again, come on girl
(I wanna feel you . . .)
Come again, come again, let's go girl
Let's go again, go again, and come come girl


You know I like it when you
Ooh yes I like it when you go
Ooooooooh ah

You know you're my girl so let's go on and go go
Nothing sinful, just be loving oh you know know
And we'll be loving, strumming, humming til the morning yo
When the sun pop hills Eastside still be singing ugh


Come again, come again, come on girl
(I wanna hear you . . .)
Come again, come again, come on girl
(I wanna feel you . . .)
Come for me, come for me, let's go girl
Let's go again, go again, and come come girl